October 29, 2010
“that sweet young boy Todd” (2001)
…that sweet young boy Todd who gave me his number on Halloween — turns out he's 23, which is fantastic, because I didn't know how I would let him down if he liked me, and now that's solved. Surf is nice but w/o pot it's not the same…w/out wanting to fuck someone there it's not the same. Maybe I'll go back and do my set — maybe not, maybe I'll go back home and write (?). Or do something, something to try to redeem the wasted day. Maybe when I read the story so far I'll be inspired to continue it. I'd better. And I'll do some more news for the site, and write my press release. Yeah, yeah — I'll sit there watching TV and needlepointing. No! Come on, Janice. Hey, I didn't smoke tonight — smelled it, wanted it, didn't hunt it down. Better if I don't go to Surf. Nothing there for me tonight…A one-woman show? Not likely. A book! A book! A…an I don't know. I don't know anything. At least it's not a major depression, but it sure feels like a rut. I cancelled the day after Thanksgiving. I'm glad. I see Judith tomorrow and I have nothing to report. I have nothing to write to myself. What's the story after this one? A suicide letter? Something about the psychic?